7 New Wonders go Splat

GMA finished unveiling it’s “7 New Wonders of the World” today and, well, let’s just say that it was very consistent. Consistently bad.

Picking up where I left off in my last post, the sixth wonder is the Mayan Pyramids. Now, to be fair, this is just about the closest thing to a Wonder (capital W) that the numskulls at GMA and USA Today have named so far, but still, the Mayans built pyramids in many countries. It’s kind of like saying that skyscrapers are a modern wonder. OK, I guess they’re a modern building trend, but why not pick one? The ancient wonder list went with the Great Pyramid at Giza, not all pyramids. Likewise, you wouldn’t say skyscrapers, you’d pick the Empire State building or Sears Tower or Petronis Towers. Gotta be specific.

The seventh wonder was quite possibly the most absurd of all: The Great Migration: Circle of Life. Ugh. We’re talking about the animal patterns of the Serengeti and the Masai Mara plains in the heart of East Africa. This is such an unbelievably dopey wonder — ah, what’s the point.

Frustrated by this utter disaster — a fundamentally good idea that was well promoted and well executed by the GMA team, but horribly conceived of by the expert panelists (if only they could shitcan those turkeys) — I bitched on the GMA message board. But then I decided to do something far more productive: vote on the “New 7 Wonders” project (note the inverted 7 and New), which actually gets it.

The vote totals won’t be revealed until 7/7/07, but at least the nominees are all drawn from the same rational, logical pool of man-made marvels. So at last, I have peace with the Wonders.