Beward the Liquid Bombs

Like many, after the recently foiled Gatorade-and-disposable-camera plot, I’ve been waiting all week for the other shoe to drop in the war on terror. Say, for example, no more flights to Lisbon in September. Or no more monkey torture jokes in the terminal. Or, shudder to think, no more snakes on the planes.

As it turns out, the real aftershock is far worse: No more mentos and diet coke. Not just on planes, either. No more mentos and diet coke, period. The Homeland Security dept, Michael Chertoff, and Alberto Gonzalez have spoken:

“The war on terror is an ongoing thing,” added Attorney General Gonzalez, “we adapt and we improvise and we adjust our tactics. Americans have always been willing to make sacrifices during times of war. Reluctantly, we will institute tomorrow a ban on all carbonated beverages in America as well as suspect over-the-counter breath freshener preparations. Bad breath is a small sacrifice we can all pay in support of our troops overseas.”

Many thanks to brother-in-law Dan R. (as opposed to Dan Q. and Dan S.) for pointing me to this story.