Mel Gibson & Stephen Baldwin Ringtones!

When I heard that Mel Gibson’s anti-semitic Malibu rant — or at least, an impersonation of it based on the arrest report — has been turned into a ringtown, I felt inspired. Not so much by the words uttered by Mr. “Sugar Tits,” but by the speed with which our buddies on the Net manage to turn celebrity scandal into a downloadable piece of pure brilliance. And then it hit me: If we can have our Motorola’s tricked out with the rantings of California’s most notorious religious yahoo, surely we can do the same thing for New York’s most evangelical pentecostal.

And speaking of Stephen Baldwin, wouldn’t you know it, but I still have recording of him giving his testimony at the New City Gospel Fellowship. I quoted some of the kookier parts in my profile of Brother Stephen in my article in last month’s Rockland Magazine, but now, in honor of his soon-to-be-released memoir, The Unusual Suspect, which — get this! — is going to be excerpted in Esquire. Anyway, I’ve posted three of your very own downloadable ringtones from Baldwin’s Pentecostal sermon, here:

1. “Die for Jesus”
2. “I can do everything”
3. “A complete and total stranger came into my house”. Enjoy!

And for those interested in Steve-O’s born-again coming-of-age story, here’s a piece from the NY Daily News with some choice excerpts from the book:

He’s perhaps a smite too zealous

Actor Stephen Baldwin is the born-again, George Bush-loving Baldwin brother, but who knew he’s also a fan of threesomes in the bedroom?

“I like to ask friends of mine, happy couples who seem to have a pretty good marriage, I will ask them, ‘How’s your sex life?'” Alec Baldwin’s little brother writes in a new book excerpted in the upcoming Esquire mag. “They will say something like pretty good or okay or no complaints here. Here’s what I tell them: Imagine taking a healthy sex life and inviting the power of God into that exchange.”

Baldwin also seems to prefer a muscular — make that violent and aggressive — form of religion.

“I’d always imagined Jesus was the sweet, cuddly, loving dude, and suddenly I find out he makes Conan the Barbarian look like Conan the wimp,” he says. “He didn’t come with a guitar singing Kum Ba Yah. Jesus brought a sword to the earth, and he is still swinging it.”

As for Baldwin himself, “God has called me to go and make disciples of the youth of America. That is what I am going to do. And if you try to stop me, I am going to break your face.”