Getting Inside Fuzzy’s Head

At last, scientists have mapped out the different regions of the cat brain. Now, I’m no PhD or MD or DVM or RN or NAMBLA, but I suspect that the problem we have with Fuzzy can be isolated to the region just between “Mysterious Adoration of Just One Spot on the Bed” and “Short Circuit that Makes Purring Kitty into Arm-Shredding Maniac in Two Seconds.” Let’s just call that area the “Determination to Pee on Fresh Litter the Second it is Poured,” which, like the “Commitment Spot,” has become enlarged in Fuzzy’s brain by a rapacious tumor that feeds off diet Iams cat food.

Hence the reason he likes to pee on furniture so much.

Hence the reason we no longer have our beloved leather couches.