Updates from November, 2004 Toggle Comment Threads | Keyboard Shortcuts

  • Ted Mann 5:00 pm on November 29, 2004 Permalink | Reply  

    No Work ‘Til … Xmas! 

    It’s time, once again, to reacclimate to the soulless monotony that is my nine-to-five, five-day-a-week slow death. That is, I’m back at the good ol’ U of Pa. Press. After five days of subsisting almost entirely on dead bird carcass, Oregon’s finest booze, marzipan and pie, my body has entered into its usual state of withdrawal, and I’ve spent most of Monday with a migraine–one of those screaming ones, like what you get when you sit babies Frances and Winifred on Santa’s lap at the mall. The idea of getting work done today seems laughably absurd, but I’ve been trying my hardest–and quickly going cross-eyed in the process. Before my vision completely punks out, though, I wanted to share this one very important video with all of you. If seeing chimpanzees doing karate doesn’t cheer your up and help bring you out of your post-holiday funk, then sir, I give up. You may as well just take December off.

  • Ted Mann 8:07 pm on November 23, 2004 Permalink | Reply  

    8-month Anniversary 

    It’s been eight months since my friend Andy first floated the idea of creating a web log. Initially, my plan was to create a hybrid of Plastic and Friendster; that is, a site where my buddies could share interesting articles they’ve read, and then other friends could rate the articles and comment on them. Conceptually, I think this idea is still sound; practically speaking, eh, not so much.

    So, back in April, Andy introduced me to the wonderful world of Movable Type, and I’ll been scribbling away here ever since. At some point along the way I created Plugs, a somewhat bastardized version of my original grand vision. Ted blogging as a babyJudging by the recent string of posts from friends, about everything from kitty insurance to on-line restaurant reservations, Plugs has finally caught on. You know when Meg Leary is asking for a username you’ve hit the big time.

    Still, Turkeymonkey is my first web mistress. And you never forget your first. Now, on the eve of our three-quarters-of-one-year anniversary, seems as good a time as any to take stock. After the jump I’ll share a few of the things I’ve learned as an infant blogger.
    (More …)

  • Ted Mann 10:52 am on November 22, 2004 Permalink | Reply  

    Wedding Photos, Part II 

    Uploaded a few more wedding photos last night. First off, my apologies for misplacing the shots of Ko puking and Dan exposing himself. Those will have to wait ’til next week. On a more positive note, I was able to find this shot of my groomsmen inexplicably jumping off a brick wall somewhere on Woodland Walk — or whatever that alley in back of Wharton is called. Note the way that Gabe is already hitting the ground before everyone else has taken off. All I have to say to this is: Gabe, did you really think that I was going to hobble you again, two months in a row? If so, then you’s was right, biz-atch. I’ll get you and your ankle again soon, don’t worry.

    You can see the rest of these new photos by going to the Photoblox window in the sidebar, below the turkey, and clicking on Album #2.

  • Ted Mann 12:11 pm on November 18, 2004 Permalink | Reply  

    Always Feel Like Somebody’s Watchin’ Me 

    Since we got back from the honeymoon, almost a month ago now, the one question that I get asked, time after time, is: So, what’s different now that you’re married? Usually, I just stutter out something like, “Uh, it’s weird calling her my wife. Wifey. The Mrs.” And though there’s a kernel of truth here, it’s actually not very weird and I kind of like it. In Belize I trotted around the pool bellowing, “Where’s my wife, WHERE’S MY WIFE,” with glee. So aside from having a new, semi-humorous nickname for Ana, not a whole lot has changed.

    At least, that’s what I thought up until a few days ago, when Ana told our friends about how I send myself emails with Christmas gift suggestions. Not ideas on what to get friends and family, she excitedly reported, but “weird gadgets that he wants for himself!” (The email, by the way, was pointing to Griffin Techonology’s RadioSHARK, a sort of TiVo for the radio. It suffices to say that this is not weird but rather brilliant and perfectly necessary for any self-respecting NPR aficionado.)

    Anyway, it took a couple seconds for the weight of Ana’s last statement to sink in. Slowly, I connected the dots: “Wait, honey, have you been reading my emails?”

    Ana hemmed and hawed, and then said, “Well, yeah. Of course.”

    “How long have you been doing this?” The walls were beginning to close in and panicked at the thought of her seeing all my private correspondence. Until I realized that, hey, I don’t really have any private correspondence. Except for my emails with theheftypilgrim@aol.com, which aren’t really private so much as guttural strings of nonsensical monkey gibberish.

    Still, the notion of Ana voyeuristically browsing my Yahoo account doesn’t seem right, does it? Let’s just settle it this way: If I get the radioSHARK next month, all will be forgiven; If I’m subjected to another Christmas of v-neck sweaters and slacks, I’m changing my password on December 26.

    • andy 1:42 pm on November 18, 2004 Permalink | Reply

      No way no way no way. Not only would I kill my wifey if she were reading my email, I don’t like her standing around me when I AM reading/replying. I make her go away. And if I see any eye conact between her and _my_ screen, when we are both geeking out on our laptops, I screech at her (sometimes with spittle).

      I can’t even conceive of her reading my emails… they are just… mine….

      Nothing to hide, but it just gives me he heebeegeebees.

      Stop her cold. NOW. Change passwords, etc.. etc… this can’t be allowed to continue!

    • andy 1:43 pm on November 18, 2004 Permalink | Reply

      Oh i forgot to add…. NPR geek!

    • Ted 3:29 pm on November 18, 2004 Permalink | Reply

      To be perfectly fair and forthright, I read her email, too. Only I don’t TELL HER ABOUT IT. That would ruin the whole spooky fun of the act! Plus, how else would I learn when Ann Taylor Loft is having a 20-percent-off sale.

      Oh yeah, they have them every day. Still, it’s nice to be reminded of this fact, via email, and thus confirm that, as saying goes, every day is a new day.

  • Ted Mann 3:03 pm on November 15, 2004 Permalink | Reply  

    Getting a little too photo-happy 

    I’ve just done a little reformatting of the blog sidebar. Matt suggested that I give a bigger visual cue for the link to Plugs (if you haven’t already, check out Gabe’s Nov. 14 post about office signage), and I experimented with few photo plugins. The photo viewer that I’ve settled on Photoblox, which can display my wedding pics in a cool little slideshow format (the window is just under the Plugs turkey). If you click on the little icons in the upper-right-hand corner of the window, you can navigate manually. The best part of all this: I don’t have to individually load all of my photos through the cumbersome Movable Type interface. I can just put ’em up on Snapfish or Ofoto or Shutterfly, copy the links, and Photoblox does the rest. Cool, eh?

    Alright, not cool. And sorta time consuming. But still better than doing real work.

    • Gabe 3:29 pm on November 15, 2004 Permalink | Reply

      I’d love to claim credit for the office-sign post, but while it was posted in the spirit of my Ecosystem, the author was your favorite 5th cousin Andy.

    • Ted 11:37 am on November 16, 2004 Permalink | Reply

      Very, very sneaky Andy. Almost too sneaky. So sneaky that I suspect you might have typed in another user ID and hacked the password. Which is exactly why I’m onto you, Gabe! Or should I say …

  • Ted Mann 12:30 am on November 14, 2004 Permalink | Reply  

    Wedding Photos, Part I 

    broad street-close up

    It’s taken much trial and error, and about 30 bum photo CDs from Target, but I finally figured out a way to digitize the wedding photos and I’m posting about 35 of them here. I’ll try to post more when I have a chance, but it’s awfully time consuming to scan everything manually. If anyone out there has advice on how to do photo-negative scanning for cheap, please throw me a bone.

    And let me just take this post to once again give props to my badass wedding photags, Eric and Kass Mencher–who, as of October 22, officially bumped Abe Lincoln and John Stewart off my Ten-Greatest-Americans list.

    After seeing this sneak preview (pics after the jump), I know that most of you will be champing at the bit to see the rest of our 1,200+ photos. Or maybe you’re just waiting for me to post photos of Jason Ko puking into LOVE park’s fountain, or maybe Dan Wheeless streaking through Liberty Place. All I have to say is, stay tuned …
    (More …)

  • Ted Mann 3:42 pm on November 10, 2004 Permalink | Reply  

    A Personal Ad in 25 Sweaters 

    A friend at work sent me a link to The Sweater Project, one of the most bizarre showcases of mothballed clothing I’ve ever seen. Like My Cat Hates You, the value of the site isn’t so much in the pictures as it is in the brilliant captions that accompany them. One of my favorite sweater assessments: “What it really says: yarn basket clusterfuck.”

    (Incidentally, since when did our country become so damn proficient at writing one-liners? Are Steven Wright’s cultural roots starting to finally bear fruit, or is this all the handiwork of The Onion?)

    It took a walk through the entire weirdly narcissistic site before I realized what was really going on. When you combine self-effacing fashion commentary, self-parodying Bill Cosby sweaters, and a self-absorbed dude posing as if for People magazine’s paparazzi, what do you get? A male-seeking-male personal ad in the Advocate. At least, that’s my theory.

    So, enjoy the ironic sweater come-ons while you can, Kevin. Eleven states and the Supreme Court have got your number, buddy. Clock’s a tickin’.

  • Ted Mann 11:27 am on November 8, 2004 Permalink | Reply  

    My Cat Hates You 

    Over the weekend Ana and I drove up to visit our New Yawk friends, Matt, Gwynne, and Gabe, and to see The Royal We’s new show, “Be All That You Can Buy.” As always, we had a great time visiting Brooklyn, taking in some quality sketch comedy, and crashing with the Johnsons. Actually, let my qualify that last item — I enjoyed crashing with most of the Johnsons, but distinctly disliked sleeping with Ethel the cat. It wasn’t really sleeping so much as it was Ethel sitting atop my face, attempting to suffocate me with her furry bulk. Gwynne and Matt said that she does that all the time, and that she’s being affectionate, but I only needed to point to my cheek for contradictory evidence.

    The night before, when I attempted to pick Ethel up, the wack-job carved two symmetrical lines in my face, from my jaw line to mid-cheek. (I’m sorry to be calling your cat a wack-job, Gwynne, but not as sorry as she would’ve been if I’d retaliated. Uh huh.) A few days later and I’m still brandishing my wounds, which, when coworkers ask, I’m alternately attributing to a knife fight and Ana’s bedroom hijinks. My bitterness towards Ethel (the ungrateful feline who I used to babysit!) still hasn’t subsided, and I’m starting to realize that, excluding my beloved Scout and Fuzzy, just about every cat out there hates me. (That includes you, Rizzo, biatch!) And it is with her in mind that I present MyCatHatesYou.com, a website devoted to darker side of the feline species.

    From the site’s about page:

    While I am allergic to cats, and do not actually own one myself (if owning a cat is even possible), I find them amusing, insightful, playful, somewhat endearing, and the list goes on.

    But there is another side to Cat, is there not? A side that harbors deep-seated, almost primal, resentment toward us and our gangly, pseudo-intelligent, simian ways. And what creature wouldn’t? If someone treated YOU the way we treat THEM, you would hate too.

    The premise behind this site is just that; your cat, though soft, cuddly and sweet, could really do without the likes of you, and me. To prove this point, MyCatHatesYou (MCHY) was born.

  • Ted Mann 10:14 am on November 4, 2004 Permalink | Reply  

    Map of the Future 

    This seems like a pretty decent cartographic solution, but I have one minor quibble: Is there any way that Pennsylvania can trade locations with Nova Scotia?

    • Gabe 12:00 pm on November 4, 2004 Permalink | Reply

      I think this map has Pennsylvania in the USC. The border along the southeast parts of the USC seems to be the de jure border of Maryland, and the Delmarva peninsula is clearly within its borders, so it looks like all is well.

    • meghan 3:52 pm on November 4, 2004 Permalink | Reply

      Check out this website. It may explain the recent election results:)


  • Ted Mann 4:11 pm on November 3, 2004 Permalink | Reply  

    Honey, are there any residency programs in Toronto? 

    To follow up on a post I made to Plugs, there’s another great article about expatriation that just came over Reuters:

    “Unhappy Democrats Must Wait to Get Into Canada”

    Canadian officials made clear on Wednesday that any U.S. citizens so fed up with Bush that they want to make a fresh start up north would have to stand in line like any other would-be immigrants — a wait that can take up to a year.

    Damn! Tough call.

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