Hair Watch: Day 4

In political journalism, the cool new thing these days is to compare George W. to a monkey. Everyone from Slate to the Globe and Mail to the San Francisco Chronicle is making the reference. Of course, if you know me at all, that’s just about the highest compliment you can pay another human being. And apparently, my esteemed colleagues at Monkeywire think so, too. Which is why they have launched their own website,, “calling on political activists and news media to cease from referring to U.S. President George W. Bush as a chimp or monkey.” Even though humans may share 99% of our DNA with chimpanzees, says the site, that tiny “fraction of a percent accounts for clear differences in mental capacities, physical dexterity, and body hair.” Ergo, even Bush’s hair doesn’t deserve the compliment of being compared to a chimp’s.

The one-page site goes on to rattle off other reasons that Bush is no friend of the monkeys: changing the Endangered Species Act to allow imports of endangered species and body parts; withdrawing from the Kyoto Treaty; and reversing his campaign pledge to regulate CO2 emissions.

Folks, I know this post is stretching the bounds of “Hair Watch,” but in the interest of’s larger objective, of enlightened discourse on turkeys and monkeys, I figured, what the hell? Plus, I just adore this image of Kerry and an ape.

apes for kerry