Wedding Band or Plumbing Supply?

See if you can guess which one of these is my wedding band:

If you said the one on the right, you’d be way, way wrong. Sure, it might have been the one I ordered, but it was most definitely not the one that showed up today in a FedEx box. Instead I got something pretty darn close to the picture on the left, a ring that can double as a PVC gasket in case of a plumbing emergency. It’s even got those little grooves, which make for easy threading (onto pipes, not fingers). When I tried to stick it on my pudgy digit, it managed to leave a scratch.

I still haven’t figured out how to engrave it, but I’m open to suggestions. Some early contenders:

This marriage brought to you by The Home Depot.

Ana, I promise to love and cherish you, as long as this O-gauge will hold.

Don’t even try to take me off or I’ll cut you, biz-atch.