Brides Gone Wild

I know I’ve been complaining about the wedding planning a lot lately. Quite frankly, I’m starting to get a little sick of hearing myself say, “No other guy would ever be this involved in the minutia.” And to be even more frank, I’ve started getting kinda caught up in all of it. From now on, please feel free to call me Groomzilla.

As I’ve mentioned before, The Knot is an essential planning resource for us. The website had loads of vendor specs and how-to guides, and it’s also the location of our handy dandy wedding webpage. But the most useful thing, by far, is Philly message board, which gets something like 100 posts a day. The most common messages are vendor reviews, where people do post-wedding evaluations of florists and DJs, and explanations for how to craft things like programs and menus. Some of the posts are a little more specific (“Mummers or Italian singers for serenade?“) or angry (“The Papery: Rude people!!!“) or sad (“Lonely Bride 😦“).

The other great thing about the Knot message boards are the community bios, little webpages where brides-to-be post their favorite dresses, accessories, and flower arrangements. Ana can spend hours reading through these things (she even has her own, here), and I personally like them because they remind me how, despite my bitchin’, my fiance hasn’t gone completely overboard — yet. Take, for example, MelDave (I think her name is actually Melody, but we know her by the community bio handle). The woman has not one, but two of these bios (one before the wedding, for planning, and one after, called “MrsMelDave”). It’s useful to look at MelDave’s bios, particularly because she’s using the same reception site and florist. But the problem is that she’s just set the bar so damn high. There is the homemade sign on the front of the Racquet Club, the table cards on wheat grass, the hand-drawn invites, the CD mix, the bathroom baskets, and on and on. At some point she even published her own magazine for the bridesmaids. Every visit to her bio(s) makes us feel terribly half-assed. I tried printing the “MrsMelDave” one because we liked the framing of some of the wedding photos. The bio came out to 26 pages — and that’s before we ran out of printer paper.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, you’ve got RedNeckDiva. Now, this is my kind of wedding party. If this is what it means to lower the bar, then please, lower away!