Fralking the Exes

One of the great, under-appreciated uses of Friendster is stalking your girlfriend’s exes. It’s better than gossiping or Googling; nothing gets you inside the head of a past boyfriend like reading his personal statement. Take, for example, Oliver Colbert, Ana’s boyfriend during Sophomore year at Penn.

Linking through three degrees of separation, I learned that Oliver is now a software designer in Seattle, who likes Shakira and the martial art of Krav Maga. And, following that train of thought, Oliver says that he’s “Interested in meeting people for: Dating, Serious Relationships (Men).” Might I add, that’s a fetching lai and beaded necklace he’s got there.

In the case of Chris Dimase, another of Ana’s exes, I’m actually in his immediate circle. Chris and I were housemates in college and we still remain friends, but nonetheless, I can’t resist the temptation to spy a little. Like Oliver, Chris is also interested in “Dating,” but he adds the all-important parenthetical nod to women.
For all you ladies out there, take note: Chris has hiked through the jungles and mountains of Venezuela — as evidenced in this picture (left). Hes also moving to New York to work for the District Attorney’s office. And he just bought his own apartment in Brooklyn Heights! But the best part of Chris’s profile is the withering honesty and openness in his personal statement. To quote, “I’m fun, generous, sometimes intellectual, sometimes wacky. I like reading the paper on Sunday morning.” Precisely!

Chris already told me that he’s macked the Friendster connection into a few dates. If memory serves, they weren’t TLC material, but I still give Chris props for being ballsy enough to canoodle complete strangers. Plus, he gets the TurkeyMonkey gold star of the day for having a monkey with a snowball on his profile.

If there isn’t already a term for this kind of Friendster stalking, I’d like to suggest one: Fralking. (Not to be confused with “frocking,” as in, to put on your frock.) Im not sure itll catch on in the same way as Google stalking, or Galking, has, but its always good for a raised eyebrow or two.

By the way, still no luck tracking down Ana’s ex from D.C., partly because I can only remember his first name: Roy. As for my one and only ex, I prefer to read about her adventures in the Penn Alumni magazine. The latest alumni notes section proudly announced, “Jackie Taylor C99 L03 has joined Wachovia Trust Company in Philadelphia as a trust associate.” Upon reading this, one of my friends (Jackie’s ex-roommate, actually) reflected, “I thought that notes section was for when you got married and, maybe, just maybe, when you have a baby. What kind of person announces to the whole class of ’99 that they got a job?” Awwww snap!